While working on a chapter for my book regarding “Comparisons to Others”, I came across a a great message by Andy Stanley, pastor of North Point Community Church in Atlanta. In his talk titled “The Comparison Trap”, Andy provided some great questions and insight for us to think about in the area of comparison to others.
He asked the question: Do you live in the Land of “-er” or “-est?
Land of “-er” is a place where you tend to compare yourself to others with the end result leaving you feeling like you have to be more “-er”: Skinny-er, Funny-er, Happy-er, Smart-er, Healthy-er, Talented-er, Pretty-er, Rich-er, etc…?
Maybe you feel you are a real driver and feel the desire to live in the land of “-est”: Pretty-est, Rich-est, Happy-est, Healthy-est, Smart-est, ReTweeted-est…
Depending on where your focus is, you could start to feel “Worse-er” about yourself or on the flip side, “Superior-er”!
Problem is with both o these is that, there is always someone, somewhere who is more “-er” or “-est”!!
Remember: “Awareness can drive discontent” AND “There is no win in comparison.”
So next time you find yourself wandering around one of these “lands”, which let’s face it, we all do many times in our lives, ask yourself a couple questions:
1. What or Who am I going to use as a reference point to determine I am okay?
2. Who’s estimation of me should I embrace?
As long as you look to the left or look to the right, you will always feel “less than” and never catch up to whom you are trying to compare yourself too.
The only answer Pastor Andy says that is guaranteed to bring you peace and comfort that you are “okay” is God. He is your Father, and like most fathers, He only sees the best in you and knows how special you are just as you are today. I tend to agree.
So next time you are feeling like you need to be more “-er” or more “-est”, take a moment, stop looking left and looking right and comparing, and instead look UP to the one person who loves you just as you are and find peace in that.
No matter what your faith background may be, I think that is pretty good advice.
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